Welcome to the innocent webnews // 15th April 2016 // issue #172
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Strawberry and banana smoothie
the more the berrier
You can't always help the way you react to something. When you see someone yawning, you want to yawn. When you see a penguin, you want to steal it and watch telly with it on the sofa. And when you see strawberries, you want to eat them on a balmy evening with a dollop of cream while watching the tennis. Strawberries taste of summer, and we know you lot love them because you asked us to add even more of them to our strawberries and bananas smoothie. Which is why we've crammed 25% more of them in there. That's seven whole strawberries in one little bottle. You asked, and we delivered. We'd love to know what you think of the new recipe, so be sure to leave your reviews here.
David the postman
we like this human
Think you're good at your job? Well, prepare to be well and truly outdone by David, a postman who smashed the old adage of 'going the extra mile' by going the extra three hundred miles to hand-deliver a passport to one of his neighbours. In total, David drove fifty miles and took four trains to get himself from Cornwall to Sussex so that he could get the passport to Mr Munro in time for his flight. Which, you have to admit, is a pretty great service. David – you've definitely got our stamp of approval. Reckon you've got that promotion in the (post) bag.
say stuff to Jez
Last week we pretended that we didn't care that our IT analyst, Jez, was leaving. He broke the internet once and we never quite forgave him. But we later caved and had to admit that we actually did care. Quite a lot, in fact. And it seems that you lot care too because, since last Friday, there's been an overwhelming outpouring of grief from devastated Jez fans. In one last-ditch attempt to stop him from going, we've set up an email address so that you can write to him yourselves – it's dontgojez@innocentdrinks.co.uk. Our eternal gratitude is up for grabs if you can change his mind.
drinker of the week
We received a perplexing email this week from Keeley:
Keeley's mystery text
We wish we could believe her story but we just don't think it holds up. You don't send the word 'wig' in an email to a fruit-based drinks business by accident. Is she trying to tell us something? Is it a code word? Wig backwards is 'giw'. Which could stand for 'grab intricate watches'. Was she trying to involve us in an international watch smuggling operation but lost her nerve at the last minute? We can't be sure but we're going to keep an eye on this one.
Lucy's stuff
inside fruit towers
This week we had a spring clean in the office, and got rid of any unwanted stuff in the general vicinity of our desks. Here's what Lucy found when she tidied up:
- One bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon
- One bottle of Merlot
- Seven large men's t-shirts
- One comedy headmaster's cane
- One vintage lacrosse stick
- One chalkboard (complete with humorous message)
- One school-style hand bell
Which begs a lot of questions about what Lucy does in her spare time. But some things are better not to know.
and finally
skyscraper climb   impatient dog   change your day
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