Welcome to the innocent webnews // 25th March 2016 // issue #169
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Easter venn diagram
the dance of the unopened Easter egg
Our Sunday morning will probably go a little something like this:

8am: receive chocolate egg. Think how a little piece will be lovely with a cuppa later.
8.03: look at chocolate egg. Think "oh I couldn’t possibly" and get up to prepare a hearty bowl of Bran Flakes for breakfast.
8.04: peel away a tiny piece of the foil. Resolve to have a little taste now and wrap the rest up for later.
8.07: only the foil remains. You don’t remember chewing and wonder if it’s possible to swallow an Easter egg whole like some kind of human snake devouring its chocolate prey.
world water day
water saving time
It was World Water Day on Tuesday, which you probably didn’t know because water’s pretty unassuming and wouldn’t like to go on about it. But water’s amazing. In fact, it’s so amazing that we’re all using too much of it. To save a gallon or two, try designating a drinking glass or mug for the day to save on washing up. Leave pans to soak instead of scraping the food off under a running tap. Shower with a friend. And do you really need to wash that? You’ve only worn it once (not applicable to pants. Definitely wash those. Or at least turn them inside out).
daylight saving time
You probably think you’ve got more time than usual this weekend because today is like a Saturday, then Saturday is also like a Saturday, and Sunday is like another Saturday and Monday is like Sunday. But you might have forgotten that the clocks are stealing a whole hour from you. Just think of all the things you could’ve done with that hour. Gone for a run. Cooked four of Jamie Oliver’s fifteen minute meals. Successfully moved a picture on Microsoft Word. The possibilities were endless. Thanks, time. Thanks for nothing. Read our guide to changing your treacherous clocks here.
innocent face swap
drinker of the week
When we discovered that we could swap our faces with other people’s faces via an app on our phones, we probably made about 57% fewer smoothies that day than we normally do. And it seems that Chantelle is just as enthusiastic about face swapping as we are because she’s taken it to a whole new level and swapped her face with our logo. And it looks properly terrifying. Please never do it again. Or, if you do, don’t surprise us with it late at night on Twitter. We’ve only just stopped having the nightmares.
Mrs Berry-to-be
inside fruit towers
We’re big fans of fruit. And we’re big fans of people. So we’re especially big fans of people with fruit names. James Peach has been working with us for a good few years now, and we’re very excited to announce that we’ll soon have another person-with-a-fruit-name in the office. Nicola is getting married this week to a nice chap called Tom Berry, which means she’ll become [drum roll please] NICOLA BERRY. Massive congrats to Nic and Tom. We only wish that Tom could have been called Chuck. But you can’t have everything.
and finally
puppy fight   spring in Japan   win a weekend away
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