Welcome to the innocent webnews // 8th July 2016 // issue #184
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cats with jobs
good things, they are happening
We don't know whether it's the sun, the sport or the 169 day countdown to Christmas, but we're feeling good this week. Whatever else is going on in the world, there's the possibility that glowing trees could soon be lighting up our streets. Parrots that everyone thought were extinct aren't extinct after all, and there's a little boy spending his pocket money on books for people in prison. The ozone layer is healing and there's a cat who's still got a job. You might not get to see the good news all the time, but it's out there if you look. As are smoothies. If you look in the shops. Sorry. Got to shoehorn those things in there somewhere.
Rich CBE
Rich-ly rewarded
Back in 1999, when Britney had pigtails and playing Snake on a Nokia 3310 was the pinnacle of gaming technology, three guys were busy starting a smoothie making business. They decided to donate 10% of profits to charity (something we've done ever since). Seventeen years later, innocent's very own co-founder Richard Reed has just been awarded a CBE for 'services to the food industry and charity'. In his own words, it's "probably the first CBE ever awarded for services to squashed fruit". And hopefully not the last. Massive congratulations, Rich. We couldn't be prouder.
less is more
less is more
From texts about half price pizza, to opportunistic emails from princes asking for your bank details, a lot of spam can find its way into your inbox. To combat the clutter, we've decided to start sending this newsletter out every fortnight instead of every week. So, next Friday, when it doesn't pop up in your inbox, don't panic. You haven't been hacked by a fruit-hating mischief-maker who's unsubscribed from all your favourite e-newsletters. We're just on one of our rest weeks.
tiny dog tiny hat
drinker of the week
We've got some very important information to…ha, look at that sausage dog wearing a tiny hat. Look at his nose. And his paws. Anyway, we were just going to say…is he smiling? What's he looking at? Has anyone got a treat? Anyway, what we were going to say…WHO'S A GOOD DOG? He is. Yes he is. Yes he…you know what, forget it. You don't need words when there are sausage dogs wearing tiny hats in the world. If only smoothies were sausage dogs wearing tiny hats. That stuff would sell itself.
Emma's parcels
inside fruit towers
When a package arrives for you at Fruit Towers, it follows a very strict process. You will receive a polite email telling you your parcel has been placed under the stairs with your name beautifully written on it. In return, you will then go down and collect it in a timely fashion. If you don't - as Emma K found out when she left a hefty pile of post under the stairs - our team at the front desk will have no choice but to stick them all to the ceiling. And the wall. And leave them dangling from a rope made of masking tape. Rules are rules.
and finally
how to bear hug   fencing, anyone?   paparazzi proof scarf
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This email is from innocent drinks Ltd whose registered office is at innocent drinks, Fruit Towers, 342 Ladbroke Grove, London, W10 5BU, registered number 766401135.