Welcome to the innocent webnews // 4th March 2016 // issue #166
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innocent un-plugged
get off your face(book)
Life's pretty connected these days. Sometimes the stream of emails, texts and Facebook friend requests (mainly from your mum) can get a bit much. Here are a few signs that you could do with a break from technology:

1. The suggested ads in your sidebar know more about you than your closest friends.
2. If Google Maps didn't exist, you probably wouldn't make it to work.
3. You've got more photos in one Facebook album than your parents have got of your entire childhood.
4. You start to zone out when reading something longer than 140 characters.
5. 67% of your belongings began life in the Amazon warehouse.

Sound familiar? Then we suggest leaving your phone at home and escaping to innocent un-plugged. We'll be switching off at our festival for grown-ups from 28 – 30 May in a woodland clearing in Kent and we'd love you to come along. The first wave of tickets are on sale now so if you'd like to join us, have a look here.
mother's day
keep mum
It's Mother's Day on Sunday and we just want to say that we like mums. They're good. In fact, mum's the word. We didn't know where that saying came from until we looked it up and found out that it's another gem from Shakespeare's back catalogue. It references 'mummers' which were silent mime actors. So mum's the word doesn't actually mean keeping a secret like a mother, even though they're known for being trustworthy and great at keeping secrets. In fact, it doesn't have any relation to actual mums at all. So don't write it in her card this Sunday. It won't mean anything.
double pineapple
we like them pineapples
Over the course of a year, we get through a lot of pineapples. More pineapples than chocolate biscuits (just about). We have a special team here at innocent who make sure that only the finest and tastiest pineapples make it into our recipes. So a few months back, our George and Maria travelled out to Costa Rica to learn more about how they're grown. While they were out there they spotted the four leaf clover of the fruit world: a pineapple with a double crown. If you want to see this mystical double headed pineapple for yourself have a look here. Astounding.
smoothie constellation
a tale of two drinkers
We've never ever really gotten into astrology. Call us cynical but our horoscopes always seem a bit vague. However, this week we were forced to adjust our thinking when the stars aligned and ended up in Simon's smoothie. He sent us a picture of his bottle and, as you can see, the bubble pattern forms a perfect representation of the Big Dipper constellation. Which definitely means something profound. Like the dawning of the age of Aquarius. Or Jupiter ascending into the seventh house. Or some other vaguely astrological sounding thing.
Nick & Duncan
inside fruit towers
Duncan and Nick M play a lot of table football. A LOT of table football. So much in fact, that Duncan has just beaten Nick in their latest season to win 37 games to 36. Not to come across all jobsworth or anything, but If we were to estimate that each game of table football took 12 minutes, that means Nick and Duncan have spent 876 minutes, or 14.6 hours, or nearly 2 days of work time playing table football. So if you ever pop into your local shop and it's all out of smoothies, you know who to blame.
and finally
food for thought   skateboarding cat   cactus fence
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