Thoughts from category: romance

the innocent cut out & keep Valentine's dinner for two

Tired of going out for Valentine’s Day and finding that everything costs twice as much? Worry no more. The innocent cut and out keep romantic dinner for two has everything you need to enjoy the day and save you money. 

The innocent cut out and keep romantic dinner for two includes:

  • Your very own innocent smoothie
  • A glass of the finest red wine we could draw a picture of
  • A fancy candle (please do not set fire to the fancy candle)
  • A nice flower (please do not set fire to the nice flower)

Simply print out and assemble your innocent romantic dinner for two using the provided stands.


WARNING: You must only use one innocent cut out and keep Valentine’s Day dinner at any given time. Using two at once may lead to a ‘Mrs. Doubtfire situation’. If you do find yourself in a ‘Mrs. Doubtfire situation’, do not sneak into the kitchen to put pepper on Pierce Brosnan’s food. He is allergic to pepper. What might seem like a novelty way to interrupt the family dinner which Pierce Brosnan is attending with your ex-wife is actually a serious crime. It’s amazing that Mrs. Doubtfire then got work as a children’s television entertainer considering that she should probably have been charged and possibly sent to prison. In fact, most of that film falls down when you think about it too much. WARNING: Do not think about Mrs. Doubtfire too much. Do not bring up Mrs. Doubtfire during your real life romantic dinner for two. Remember to ask your date about their hobbies and interests. Tell them about your own hobbies or interests. Unless, that is, your hobbies and interests involve pretending to be an old English woman with a Scottish accent in order to see your estranged family. We’ve been over this. Please buy smoothies.