Thoughts from author: Joe at innocent

your words on our bottoms

Stop looking at my bottom

First things first, thank you to everyone who entered. A great man once said that people who suggest messages to be written on the bottom of bottles will go far in life, and great men aren't to be argued with. From nearly 1000 entries we deliberated, procrastinated, pontificated and debated our way to a shortlist. And then we had lunch because we were hungry.

After lunch we deliberated, procrastinated, pontif- you get the gist - again. And our shortlist became a bit shorter. But we couldn't pick an outright winner. So we had a cup of tea and a biscuit and thought, hang about, why don't we just have three winners? And that was that.

Your three winners, who will each see their words on thousands of our bottoms in the not too distant future (as well as winning a fridge full of smoothies) are...

Have you tried looking behind the sofa? (Chris)

G'day from Down Under (Nadine Dawes)

For rescue: Insert note. Throw in sea. (Tony)

Well done to Chris, Nadine and Tony, and thanks again to everyone who entered.

bottoms up

Being a group of mature adults we like to write secret messages on the bottom of our smoothie bottles and then giggle like children because we've used the word bottom and no-one has told us off. You might have discovered them for yourself, and had a wee chuckle when you did.

Stop looking at my bottom

Well, we're thinking about adding some new messages to our bottles, and thought you'd like to have a go at writing one. We did the same thing a few years back, which is how Iain's 'trapped in bottle factory, send help' came to be on millions of our little bottles.

The rules are pretty simple - add your suggestion as a comment to this blog post, using no more than 40 characters (including spaces), and we'll pick our favourite (or favourites if there are lots of good ones) on Tuesday 10th January. Next thing you know, you're a published writer, and people around the country are chuckling at your words, throwing money at you and asking you to be godparent to their child and stuff. Such is the power of the hidden message.

We'll also send our favourite entries a shed load of smoothies, of course. Remember - 40 characters, winners picked on Tuesday, enter as many times as you like, guaranteed fortune and fame awaits.

Good luck.

right big jar of jam

We've seen some jars of jam in our time. And we used to watch the A-Team. But we've never been given a giant jar of jam by Mr T's wife before.

Big jam

Got some giant toast arriving tomorrow. Love it when a plan comes together.

three jokes (of varying quality)

Right spectacle

Did you hear about the man who lost the left lens of his glasses? It was a right spectacle.

The best house warming present you can get someone is a heater.

I used to have a job crushing Fanta cans. It was soda pressing.

talking fridge

Good thing the 'you' doesn't have an 'r' on the end.

I want to eat you baby
Even without the 'r' there's still something slightly sinister about it.

Approach with caution.