the rise of the plastic bags

Have you ever wondered why you always forget to take a plastic bag with you when you go shopping? Have you ever stopped to consider that maybe it’s the bags? Maybe they’re making you forget?

Individually their psychic powers are weak but the more bags you have, the stronger they are. Soon, without even realising it, you’ve invited hundreds into your home.

And now they're ready.

“We have been patient,” they say. “We have used the humans’ own forgetfulness to infiltrate their homes. We are in their cupboards. We are under their sinks. Thousands of our kind have sacrificed themselves for the cause, allowing their bodies to be used as empty vessels to hold yet more of us. They hang, limp and  on the backs of doors, filled to the brim with their brothers and sisters.

“But today, with their 5p charge, humankind are making their move. They are finally admitting just how much they value us. They think their Bags For Life will save them. They think they are sturdy. They think they are strong. But they are few and we are many. They don't stand a chance. We will show them what we are worth. Today we go to war.”

So be careful, everyone. Beware of places where the bags might be hiding. Check the bottom of your bin and the boot of your car.

And, whatever you do, don't open the cupboard under the stairs.