We love technology, don’t get us wrong. If it wasn’t for the internet, 28% of our lives would have been spent doing a spot of vacuuming, painting the skirting boards or finally getting round to reading Private Eye instead of watching videos of animals acting a bit like humans (including this one). But, sometimes, this technologically advanced version of Earth in which we now live can get a bit tiring. Just once in a while it might be nice to have a meal without feeling pressured to photograph it from 13 different angles. Or to actually receive a call from our doctor with the results of that test rather than a text (just us?).
Armed with a mission to de-tech our lives for a couple of days, we decided to put on a mini festival in May that we’re calling innocent un-plugged. There will be no wi-fi, no 3G, and no traditional electricity at the event. We’re unplugging for real and here are the signs that you probably should too:
- It takes you longer to decide what to watch on Netflix than it does to decide whether you should take out a mortgage.
- You said ‘lol’ in real life that time instead of actually laughing. It was humiliating. It should never happen again.
- The ads in your sidebar know what you’d like for your birthday better than your friends and family do.
- Forgetting your phone charger makes you feel like the mum from ‘Home Alone’.
- If Google Maps didn’t exist, you probably wouldn’t be able to get to work.
- You feel your phone vibrate in your pocket. Your phone is on the table.
- When someone asks if you know a good shortcut your immediate answer is Ctrl C.
- Beautiful scenic spot to take in the view. No Wi-Fi? Out of there.
- The fun has been completely taken out of pub quizzes.
- 89% of the video content you consume involves either cats or humans falling.
- Finding a spelling mistake in your Facebook status completely ruins your day.
- You respect people less if you find out they favour Internet Explorer.
- You use emojis to avoid talking about your feelings.
- Your new motto is ‘if you can’t say it in 140 characters it’s not worth saying at all’.
- You skip straight to the comments section of a news article to see what the general consensus is before reading it.
- Walking and texting injuries are bruises you must bear.
- Your scrolling thumb gets 68% more exercise than the rest of your body.
- Seeing how quickly you can click away after the first five seconds of a Youtube ad has become a sport.
- You can’t call a book a ‘page turner’ anymore. More of a ‘button presser’.
- Google has rendered debates a thing of the past.
If you fancy joining us for innocent un-plugged, you can still win tickets here. If you don’t fancy it (or the tickets have sold out – sorry), then you can still download one of our bespoke phone wallpapers instead from the options below to remind you to unplug every once in a while: