nice bottom

We had loads of entries to the bottom of our bottle competition.

So many in fact that it took us a while to read through them all.

We were only going to choose 3 winners but the entries were of such a high standard that we ended up choosing 7. In other words, you did all the work, while we drank tea and laughed at your bum jokes.

Here are the winning captions along with the geniuses behind them. Thanks to everyone who entered. May you all be blessed with perfectly formed bottoms from this day forth.

If you listen real hard, you can hear the sea


This is Yvonne. Yvonne is currently doing her PhD at Oxford and this is not her first brush with literary fame; she's had some poetry published already. Yvonne is a big fan of cheesecake, especially the chocolate marbled yoghurt variety (not as yet available on wooden sticks).

Rub bottle to free genie

Thanks to Amy for sending in this caption. Amy's favourite place to go on holiday is San Francisco. She's just had her birthday (it was an important one) is studying psychology and child development and has a large collection of stripy socks.

Suddenly everything is clear


John is scared of waxworks but not spiders. His best job was being paid to put garters on pretty ladies and he once slept through a small earthquake.

Trapped in bottle factory - send help


We liked Iain's caption a lot. Iain works in IT and prefers staying up really late to watch American ice hockey over going for a quick jog round the park or any other form of exercise.

The end is nigh


Skateboards, rollmop herrings and moths all feature on Peter's top ten list of good stuff. By day he is a Head Gardener, by night he is the proud owner of a very nice pair of Lancashire clogs. He even sent us a picture of them to show just how great they are:


In case of emergency, breakdance

Richard's advice to the world is never let your mum cut your hair. If you invited Richard round for afternoon tea, he'd like a fondant fancy on a doily please and in return, would tell you all about New York and modern art.

All the cool kids drink from this end

Cameron is rather camera shy but tells us that he likes smoothies, free stuff and facial scrubs. Which is a pretty good list of things to like.

Look out for these new bottoms, coming to a bottle near you very, very soon.