Hello, I'm Row and I'm one of the People's Champions here at innocent. Apparently I have some very strange/strong phobias so I thought I'd share my top three with you. Maybe you've got just the thing to help me - all phobia-combatting advice welcome.

My third worst phobia: Ventriloquists (automatonophobia)

Weirdly, I can handle Orville, but it's the ones that look like people that I get freaked by. There's one man who leaves his dummy on the stage whilst he walks off, and the dummy starts looking round and talking all on his own. That's just not right.

My second worst phobia: Clowns (coulrophobia)

It all stems from a scary clown experience I had as a teenager. It involved a clown at a friend's little sister's birthday party who began by chasing us teenagers around as well as the little kids. I just remember his big feet kept slapping on my feet, and I definitely wasn't laughing. I ended up locking myself in the loo downstairs to get away from him, only to have him start tapping on the door. I tell you, the film It had nothing on this clown.

My worst phobia: Sharks (or more specifically Great White sharks) (selachophobia)

This stems from my twin sister insisting we watch Jaws before going swimming, combined with her telling me 'the shark's gone, you can look now', only for me to drop the cushion I was holding and see Jaws still gnawing away at someone's leg. This phobia is so bad I can't even look at a picture of a Great White in attack mode without shrieking. To try to make a step forward and because I couldn't bring myself to look at a picture of a real shark, I've drawn one, which you can see below. My old A Level art teachers would be so proud.*


* clearly I did textiles and not painting/drawing.