Welcome to the innocent webnews // 5th May 2017 // issue #204
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marathon
now this is a story all about…us
We started making drinks in 1999, a whole 18 years ago. In that time, we’ve crushed and bottled 7.5bn portions of fruit. We’ve donated £10m to charity. We’ve accidentally written the words ‘creamy cocnut milk’ on a smoothie label and only realised when thousands of them were already on supermarket shelves. We’ve propelled a stapler to fame and received crate-loads of tiny knitted hats in the post. And we’ve sent out 204 of these newsletters to you, the people who buy our drinks (hopefully, otherwise this is a bit of a waste of our time) and we really do appreciate your support. Without you, we’d be nothing. Now we’re off to have our first legal drink, finish filling in our UCAS form, have an epiphany about our political affiliations and get our hair cut into the Rachel. It’s gonna be grrrrrrrreat.
new look smoothies
 
18-year-old smoothie company of the week
There was a lot of competition for the title but we’ve decided that the winner is…us. While we’ll treasure this accolade forever, we can’t help but wonder what else we could have achieved if we weren’t so obsessed with fruit. By the age of 18, Schubert had already written 200 songs and Edgar Allan Poe had just published his first book of poetry. Samantha Larson had climbed the highest mountains on all seven continents and Elias Howe had invented the sewing machine. But then again, did any of those achievements make it easier for people to get their 5-a-day? No they did not. Bet they’re kicking themselves.
SWAN ALERT
 
inside Fruit Towers
We’ve been sent some impressive things in our time. Somebody made us a functioning raft out of smoothie cartons. Sue sent us in a knitted version of ABBA for the Big Knit a couple of years ago. And last week to celebrate our birthday, the guys at the agency Sense sent us a cake that looks exactly like one of our grassy vans. Word quickly spread around the office, and people flocked downstairs to marvel at its beauty. It was so amazing, we almost didn’t eat it. Almost. Cheers, Sense. We owe you an oversized cake for your next birthday.
and finally
look of the 90s   sound of the 90s   drink of the 90s
 
   
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