Welcome to the innocent webnews // 18th December 2015 // issue #157
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Christmas
seven sleeps to go
This time next week we'll be tucking into our third chocolate reindeer, trying to defrost the turkey in the microwave and wondering if we'll get a personal shout out from the Queen for running that 5K (and only walking the uphill bits). We probably should've finished our Christmas shopping by now but we've been really busy buying culturally relevant Christmas jumpers and eating our weight in unshelled brazil nuts. If you've still got a few bits to get, here are some last minute present ideas:

1. Homemade soap. Or soup, depending on the consistency.
2. Friendship bracelet. Made out of cold spaghetti and the insides of party poppers.
3. A heartfelt poem. Written in invisible ink on invisible paper. No need to wrap.
4. A laptop keyboard cleaner fashioned from a pipe cleaner sellotaped to a thin piece of MDF.
5. The HMV gift card you got for your birthday that you already redeemed but kept in your wallet for safekeeping.
our favourite reindeer
 
our favourite reindeer
Prancer and Dancer don't have their heads in the game. Cupid is seasonally inaccurate. Donner is a people name not a magical mythical creature name. After much consideration, we've decided that Dasher is the best reindeer. He takes his job seriously. He's got the sense of urgency needed for delivering 378 million presents in one night. The one we don't like is Olive. Because Olive, the other reindeer, used to laugh and call Rudolph names. Yeah, the rubbish jokes have started early. Happy Christmas.
Action Against Hunger
 
feed the world
Every year we give 10% of our profits to charity, with the majority going to the innocent foundation to help the world's hungry. This year, we're really excited about our partnership with Action Against Hunger. We've committed £900,000 over three years to fund a revolutionary research project in Mali and Pakistan to help children who are suffering from severe acute malnutrition. And we've made this little video to explain how it works. It's the first project of its kind and could fundamentally change how we reach hungry children all over the world. And it's only possible because you guys buy the things we make. Thank you very much. You're definitely all on Santa's nice list.
Loki the dog
 
drinker of the week
We like to go all out for the festive season here at fruit towers. Not only does that mean employing our own in-house Santa, it also means constructing a grotto for important festive meetings (and post-cheeseboard naps). This week a lady called Emma popped in with her dog, who decided that the Important Meeting Room Grotto was actually a kennel and refused to come out. Which we definitely didn't encourage. Except by putting sausages on the windowsill. And shutting the doors. And telling Emma he was waiting for her outside. Such an inconvenience.
Tin Henman aka Stu
 
inside fruit towers
Last Friday we had our Christmas party. The theme of the evening was The Wizard of Oz, which produced an array of fancy dress delights for us to enjoy. Douglas dressed as Dorothy, Fiona is still trying to scrub off the green face paint after going as the Wicked Witch of the West, George dressed as the yellow brick road, Jonny completely missed the memo and came in a shirt and some trousers, and Stu won the award for the most abstract fancy dress of the evening by coming as Tin Henman. It was odd, Stu. But we liked it.
and finally
endless cauliflower   animals in snow   perfect present
 
   
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