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Thoughts from category: valentines day

Valentine's Card messages

 

Writing a message in a Valentine's card can be a tricky business - is it too soon to throw down the l-bomb? Is 'regards' too formal? One kiss or two? Whether you've been with your significant human for twenty years or one exhausting weekend we've got a few helpful, and not at all risky, suggestions for your message inside the card:

1. Your hair always looks fairly clean.

2. I think you’d still look nice even if all your jeans were slightly too short.

3. Your face reminds me of a painting by a famous painter. But not the Mona Lisa because everyone knows that one and it’s too obvious.

4. If you told me a secret I wouldn't tell anyone. Unless I strongly believed that it required intervention from the relevant authorities and standard human morality dictated my actions accordingly.

5. I’d always swipe right for you.

6. If we only had one phone charger I’d let you plug your phone in first and get it up to 15% battery before unplugging it.

7. If you used Internet Explorer, and favoured it over other search engines even after trying all the alternatives, I would learn to accept it.

8. If you got really drunk, and were embarrassed about it the next day, I’d always tell you that you ‘weren’t that bad’.

9. You look a bit like that actor/actress from that film I saw that time. I don’t remember their name, or what else they've been in, but you’re a dead ringer.

10. I’d sit through an entire episode of Waterloo Road if you wanted to watch it. I wouldn't be happy about it. But I’d do it.

11. If we went food shopping, and I was packing the bags, I'd pack the heavy stuff into the one I was going to carry home. Even if we had bought extra milk because your parents were thinking of popping by.

12. I've learned to live with the fact that you’re ‘not really an animal person’. But I might silently judge you for it.

13. If you had cold feet, I would take my socks off and insist that you wear them, even if my feet were also quite cold. You’re worth having quite cold feet for.

14. I don’t put mushrooms in stuff because I know you don’t like them. I really miss mushrooms, you know.

15. You are my favourite human. Even counting my parents and people I've known for years who’d probably be offended if they knew.

We should probably mention that you use these messages at your own risk and innocent cannot be held responsible for any coincidental relationship breakdowns that occur shortly afterwards.