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Thoughts from category: random

jasper's roof secret

Fruit Towers, like most buildings, has a roof. It’s a fine roof, as roofs go. It’s high up, it has the appropriate safety barriers, it gets windy. It’s a roof. Occasionally we go on the roof to take pictures of our smoothies.

But roof access is limited. We can’t just have anybody going up there. It wouldn’t be safe. No, instead you have to ask Jasper first. This is Jasper on the roof.

The other day, when Jasper let us onto the roof to take a picture of our smoothies, he mentioned something about a secret. A secret on the roof. But he wouldn’t tell us what it was. We’ve asked him over and over again but he’s not budging. To be honest, it’s bothering us. We come into work every day and look up at the roof.

“What’s your secret?” we say to the roof, but the roof never responds.

We go into Fruit Towers and see Jasper.

“What’s your secret on the roof?” we say to Jasper, but Jasper never responds.

What could it be? Is Jasper sleeping up there, just like when nobody knew Ben was sleeping in the gym for a few months? Is he secretly designing a giant telescope which he can use to spy on the people of Ladbroke Grove? Could it be that there are solar panels up there (which we already know about, so if it is that then in your face, Jasper)?

If you know Jasper’s roof secret, please tell us. It’s too much to bear.

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pigeons: an update

A couple of months ago we saw some pigeons on our way to the shops and we've been keeping a close eye on them since. The pigeons are still there but something's up with them. They look different somehow. We're not sure what though, can't quite put our finger on it.

We'll report back as soon as we know more.

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pigeons

At lunchtime, on the way to the supermarket, having walked the ‘secret’ route under the bridge and along the canal, we spotted these pigeons. Loads of them. This picture doesn’t do it justice. They were everywhere

We can’t help but wonder what they were queuing for. Were they waiting for their own lunch? Or concert tickets? Were they queuing for a famous pigeon celebrity who was doing a book signing?

We’ll probably never know but, just in case, we’ll keep an eye on them.

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smoots

We were reading about smoots the other day, a unit of measurement based on the height of Oliver Smoot in 1964 (5 feet 7 inches). As a prank when he was a student at MIT, Oliver Smoot repeatedly lay down on the Harvard Bridge while his friends measured how many of him would make up its length. It was discovered that the bridge was 364.4 smoots. 

Since then the smoot has become a semi-official measurement of distance. The original marks are repainted every year and you can even use it in the official Google Calculator (we’ve worked out that Fruit Towers is just over 14 smoots).

Having learnt about smoots, we then got lost in a tunnel of other odd (and surprisingly real) ways to measure stuff.

The beard-second - 10 nanometers, the distance the average beard grows in a second.

The sheppey - the closest distance at which sheep remain picturesque

The New York second - the time between the lights turning green and the cab behind you beeping its horn. The shortest imaginable measurement of time there is.

A Warhol - a measurement of fame. Fifteen minutes worth of fame equals 1 Warhol. Can be expanded to:

- 1 kilowarhol — famous for 15,000 minutes (about ten days)

- 1 megawarhol — famous for 15 million minutes, (roughly 28.5 years)

We’d like to add our own method of measurement to all this. 

The Wiki-moment - The amount of time you accidentally spend on Wikipedia before realising you really should get back to work.

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