Menu

Thoughts from category: jasper

jasper's roof secret

Fruit Towers, like most buildings, has a roof. It’s a fine roof, as roofs go. It’s high up, it has the appropriate safety barriers, it gets windy. It’s a roof. Occasionally we go on the roof to take pictures of our smoothies.

But roof access is limited. We can’t just have anybody going up there. It wouldn’t be safe. No, instead you have to ask Jasper first. This is Jasper on the roof.

The other day, when Jasper let us onto the roof to take a picture of our smoothies, he mentioned something about a secret. A secret on the roof. But he wouldn’t tell us what it was. We’ve asked him over and over again but he’s not budging. To be honest, it’s bothering us. We come into work every day and look up at the roof.

“What’s your secret?” we say to the roof, but the roof never responds.

We go into Fruit Towers and see Jasper.

“What’s your secret on the roof?” we say to Jasper, but Jasper never responds.

What could it be? Is Jasper sleeping up there, just like when nobody knew Ben was sleeping in the gym for a few months? Is he secretly designing a giant telescope which he can use to spy on the people of Ladbroke Grove? Could it be that there are solar panels up there (which we already know about, so if it is that then in your face, Jasper)?

If you know Jasper’s roof secret, please tell us. It’s too much to bear.