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Thoughts from category: Film

Our Oscars predictions

The Oscars. The night we all suddenly find out we have strong opinions about films we've never seen (or have any intention of seeing). The night the words 'glitz & glam' get used on social media more frequently than at any other time of year. Here are our predictions for what might happen on the day:

1.     It will be broadcast on television.

2.     Women will wear clothes that some people like and others don’t. Their opinions will be made known and this will lead to a further discussion.

3.     The third Oscar selfie will be taken and, coincidentally, it will be two thirds less amusing than it was the first time.

4.     97% of the winners will be humbled.

5.     One attendees’ outfit will be worth more than a family home in Dorset.

6.     The carpet will be referred to as red but, on screen, it’ll actually look closer to burgundy.  

7.     79% of winners wouldn’t have been able to do it without their fans and will be incredibly thankful for their support.

8.     Men will wear suits and no one will have anything further to say about them.

9.     45% of winners will hold their award in the air and say “wow”.

10. Everyone’s teeth will be a shade of white we didn’t think was achievable for human teeth.

11. One of the results will be mildly surprising and people will express their mild surprise on social media.

12. If you’re watching it with someone else they’ll say “I had a feeling that one would win it” despite what they said half an hour before.

13. Designer clothes that a famous person is wearing will sell out in ‘seconds’ during the ceremony.

14. Someone will sing at some point.

15. The host will divide opinion and different news outlets will have different takes on how offensive they actually were.

16. Leo will win the Oscar/won’t win the Oscar and Twitter will make a year’s worth of profits off the back of it.

17. Leo will win the Oscar/won’t win the Oscar and Buzzfeed will create a number of GIF based articles to replay the moment that he did/didn’t win the Oscar.

18. The camera will pan to a celebrity looking bored and they will quickly change their expression when they realise they’re being filmed.

19. 69% of winners “just didn’t expect this”.

20. The whole thing will go on for a bit too long. You might go to bed before the end or turn over to watch the news.

50 Shades of Grey

50 shades of grape

 

The colour grey has never received the recognition it deserves. We've had the 'Green Mile', 'The Thin Blue Line', 'A Clockwork Orange', 'Red Dawn', 'The Colour Purple',  - pretty much every colour has been catered for by some film or another. Well, grey is finally getting its time to shine this weekend as the film based on the definitive almanac of all things grey, 'Fifty Shades of Grey', is being released. Thank goodness we say - finally, the balance has been restored and the stigma for what is, admittedly, one of the more uninteresting colours on the spectrum has been lifted. It's time to praise the grey, and about time too.

However we will admit that we were a bit surprised when we heard there were fifty shades. Seemed a bit much. We decided to investigate and, after completing a very lengthy Google search (in which we saw many things we wish we could unsee) it turns out there actually aren't fifty - someone didn't do their research. So, to save the day, and the embarrassment of the author and film makers, we've come up with all fifty shades ourselves:

  1. grey
  2. light grey
  3. dark grey
  4. really light grey
  5. really dark grey
  6. pigeon
  7. dust
  8. overpriced laptops
  9. all fax machines
  10. old blinds
  11. dirty snow
  12. the ashes of the deceased
  13. cobwebs
  14. the moon
  15. the pebbles in that photo of pebbles
  16. George Clooney’s hair
  17. Kelly Osborne’s hair that time
  18. the face of a person who may imminently vomit
  19. the hearts of people not quite evil enough to have black ones
  20. dolphins
  21. mascara tears
  22. slate
  23. the carpet in the Banks family household after the chimney sweep scene
  24. any loose change that isn’t brown
  25. the Earth from a very, very, very great distance
  26. anything from a very, very, very great distance
  27. the B Side to ‘Yellow’ by Coldplay
  28. an aubergine and white chocolate smoothie
  29. Poirot’s brain cells
  30. Santa’s beard after a big night out
  31. most wolves
  32. Gandalf
  33. a dirty swan
  34. old underwear
  35. the legs of an ostrich
  36. some suitcases
  37. old statues in the grounds of a stately home
  38. a grey hat
  39. your hands after holding a free newspaper
  40. the fluff of a baby penguin
  41. Miss Havisham’s wedding dress
  42. koala bears
  43. the sea in Britain most of the time
  44. a mirror if an elephant is reflected in it
  45. unbuffed silverware
  46. lots of buildings
  47. most fish
  48. the cat that Professor McGonagall turns into in Harry Potter
  49. Hippopotamuses
  50. paint when you try and recreate the colour you made earlier

Think we managed to capture the most important ones. Update your Dulux colour match swatches accordingly.

the musical highlight of our summer

We might have mentioned a few weeks ago that our very own innocent band were going to perform at the Empire. No, not the titular music store from Empire Records, but London's O2 Shepherd's Bush Empire, which is just as impressive (if not more so, as it's not fictional). For those of you who were unable to make it down, we thought you might enjoy this little video of them kicking it out.

a little film about little films

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On a very rainy Saturday four weeks ago, we held a little workshop here at Fruit Towers to launch our mini movies competition. Ben Wheatley- film director, very funny chap, and the maker of our superhero ad- spent the day with us, talking about his own experience, sharing top tips, and helping our film makers' make their own little mini movies on the day.

This is our little video about the day- thanks to Mark and Dan for all the time they put into making this for us:

To find out how you could get your work on TV, and win £5000, take a peak here here.