Recently, during the return of Bake Off, we asked our Twitter followers an important question.
Are Jaffa Cakes a cake or a biscuit?
We’d even go as far as saying it’s possibly the most important question of modern times. Yes, people argue about religion or politics or the correct way to eat Maltesers*, but you only really know the full measure of a person once you’ve had the Jaffa Cake Conversation (or JCC for the busy amongst us).
Immediately, people on Twitter started to bring up the fact that this entire question was apparently solved in a court case a few years ago. Cakes, you see, are charged a different VAT rate so the matter had to be settled legally. It turns out that one of the primary differences between cakes and biscuits is that cakes go hard when stale while biscuits go soft. And, seeing as Jaffa Cakes undoubtedly toughen up after a period during which they miraculously go uneaten, it was decided that they were cakes.
But maybe that’s just what they want us to think? Maybe there’s something else going on? Maybe, deep in some underground bunker miles beneath London, there’s some secret consortium of cake bakers locked in a battle against a cult of biscuit artists that goes back for thousands of years? Maybe, just maybe, Jaffa Cakes are some sort of mythical object and whichever side ‘owns’ them can dictate the shape of reality itself? Maybe we’re all pawns in an ancient game that none of us can truly understand?
Or maybe everyone involved could realise that they’re called Jaffa Cakes. Clue’s in the name.
*bite all the chocolate off, eat the malty goodness after