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Thoughts from December 2011

christmas crackers

Tired of always getting rubbish jokes in festive crackers?

Sick of reading the one about the grape being stepped on?

Cracker

Wine no more.

Just copy and paste the jokes below, print them out on office stationery before you go home for the holidays and then cut them into little slips to wedge inside the crackers come Christmas Day.

Here's ho-ho-hoping they provide at least 20 seconds of festive fun

Why didn’t the Eskimo need to write down his Christmas shopping list?

Because Inuit

Why does Santa have three gardens?

So he can 'ho ho ho!'

Why did Santa lay off the egg nog?

Because it was bad for his elf

What did one snowman say to the other snowman?

“Can you smell carrots?”

Why should you invite a mushroom to your Christmas party?

Because he's a fun guy to be around

How do snowmen get around?

They ride an icicle

Who hides in the bakery at Christmas?

A mince spy

What does the Christmas weather forecast look like, darling?

Rain, dear

What do angry rodents send each other at Christmas?

Cross-mouse cards

What does Santa do with fat elves?

Sends them to the Elf Farm

What’s red and white and goes ‘Oh oh oh’?

Santa walking backwards

N.B Some of these jokes were written by us. The rest were shamefully pillaged and plagarised from the internet. We're not proud. But we are honest.

A very happy competition

5

Anorak and Ploc are two of our favourite things that are made out of paper.
They are happy magazines for kids, full of brilliant writing, beautiful illustrations (Ploc being entirely illustrated by the 60s French legend Alain Gree) and generally ace stuff. And the happy folks there have kindly given us five of their Anorak/Ploc Christmas bundles to give away. To win one (and if you have children or eyes, you'll want to win one) all you have to do is answer the following question:

Thanks to everyone who entered, this competition is now closed, congratulations to the following people: Annie Kent, Melanie Sramek, Darren Maynard, Cherrie Ouerghi and Matthew Butler.
Someone from Anorak will be in touch shortly.

right big jar of jam

We've seen some jars of jam in our time. And we used to watch the A-Team. But we've never been given a giant jar of jam by Mr T's wife before.

Big jam

Got some giant toast arriving tomorrow. Love it when a plan comes together.