Friends. It is with genuine distress that today I have to report to you all the kidnapping of the beloved and much feted innocent banana phone.

As we've decided to go public with this I should start at the very beginning. At times like these details are crucial, you never know what might jog a vital memory. Monday started here much like any other week I was however I upset to notice that the banana phone was missing from its pedestal in reception here at Fruit Towers. It sits there on a special plinth, a top a velvet cushion where it can be admired by all who pass.

A quick accusatory email to the usual suspects didn't provide any leads and to be honest I decided not to panic. 'It'll come home when it's ready' I thought. How I now regret those wasted hours.

On Tuesday morning things took a sinister turn. A ransom email. I'm afraid that in my anger and panic I responded hastily and said that they might take my phone but they'd never break my spirit and that it should be returned immediately.

I presumed that would be the end of the matter and expected it's safe return. It's frightening how wrong a person can be. This morning I received this.

These people clearly mean business. Here is a link to the ransom note so you can read for yourselves.

http://www.bmycharity.com/V2/bananaphonejacker

It looks like I have to meet their demands or risk not getting the phone back, I shudder to think what could be happening to it. It's out there somewhere and I want it back.

In the mean time all generous souls should dig deep. Please help me bring the banana phone back home where it belongs. Have a splendid long weekend and please remain vigilant.